What the heck happened to the four of us?  When did lies, deception, untruths, and giving up enter our friendship? You guys were like BROTHERS, man.  The three of you and me – the four of us were a team.  We could take on the world, and we knew the others had our back.

Now, one of you won’t talk to me at all, and blames me for the failure of your friendship with one of the others; one of you vacillates between treating me like I’m the greatest thing ever and completely avoiding me; and one of you lives with me, you poor pitiful soul.

Where did I go wrong?  Where did it all go to pieces, and why the heck didn’t I stop it?  I loved the three of you more than my own life…

Why am I posting this NOW, after all these years?  I’m tired.  Tired of fighting the ghosts and raking the memories over the coals.  I miss who we were.  And I’m not saying I want to go back there.  I just wish that as we grew and evolved, that we could have done it together.

Now, it’s all shattered.  And why is it that nobody’s looking back but me?

EDIT:  And no, this is not posted because anybody said or did anything.  Nothing was posted on Facebook or Twitter or any blog that made me go all memory-laney. I just so happened to be by myself, driving down Johnson Avenue on a sunny day, when Blues Traveler came on the radio.  And it reminded me of one summer when we absolutely played the “FOUR” CD all the time, when you guys lived in Apartment City.  And then one thing led to another, and in true Fossie fashion, I realized that somehow, some way, a huge hole in my heart was still there.

Thank God the song that came on was “Runaround”….if it had been “Hook,” I’d have cried my eyes out for sure.


About Tracey

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One response »

  1. Wes says:

    You’re not the only one who looks back into the past and wonders why events transpired the way they did, what would have happened if things had been just a little differently and regretting the eventual outcome of some things.

    Of course, my ruminations are not over the same events and people as yours, though they do involve you and Mike and some others.

    Do you ever wonder if the people you are ruminating on have the same hole in their heart that you do?

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