Times In Here

I’m not sure how to write today’s post.  I’m a graphic designer at a manufacturing company.  And our industry has seen a major downturn, which leads to one of my least favorite phrases:  reduction in workforce.

I am blessed that I do still have my job, and I’m going to give it my all – as I always try to do.  But I sure do miss my partner and my other friends affected by the situation.  You guys are thought of every day.

So, I know I promised to be more bubbly as my posts go on, and they will be soon, really. But for now, the times in here are kinda blue.

It’s Okay

It’s ok to be who you are. It’s ok to desire what you desire. 

In fact, it is more than ok. It is truly wonderful. 

For in those things that bring you joy, you’ll find your greatest opportunities to give to life. In the genuine reality of who you are, you’ll discover how to be the best you can be. 

What means more to you than anything? Honestly explore that question, and you’ll connect to a powerful, undeniable purpose. 

You are a beautiful person with a perspective on life that is uniquely yours. Explore and fulfill the special possibilities that are alive in you. 

Be who you are and create the unique joys that are yours to give. The beauty of life is what you know it to be. 

– Ralph Marston

My friend Matthew sent that to me last week.  Seems like I’ve gotten bogged down in the day-to-day grind and somehow have lost a bit of my sparkle.  It does my heart so much good to see that someone I care about not only NOTICES the mainstreaming of me, but takes the time out of his schedule to ENCOURAGE me to revisit some of my happiness.   I think the part that makes me think the most is the part about “a perspective on life that is uniquely yours.”  That’s pretty neat, if you ask me!  I am most assuredly unique, but now it’s like it’s really OKAY to be different.

And then this one sentence just spoke to my soul:

Be who you are and create the unique joys that are yours to give.

That is something that an artist needs to hear from someone she respects. We artsy people take such a risk by putting our creations out there…they come from the depths of our beings, and when someone criticizes them, it’s painful.  Almost like a personal affront. You can only take so much before you just retreat back to the safe zone where nobody can hurt you.

After reading and reflecting up this, I realize that maybe it’s time to find my way back out there.  Pick up the ol’ brush and canvas and just do something.  ANYTHING.  If nothing else, I can brush up on my skills (catch the pun?) so Regan and I can work on a project like I’ve promised her. THAT would be a blast – working with my girl on some art!!!

Thank you Matthew, for sending these beautiful words to me.  I didn’t even realize that I needed it!!

I hope that anyone else who reads this is also uplifted.  Don’t be afraid to be uniquely you.

Aftermath

I generally try to be sunshiney, and that is doubly true when it comes to my blog.  Readers don’t tune in to hear someone rehash or ponder ad nauseam how awful life can be.  So, most of the time what you see here at Fossie’s Blogglings is usually upbeat, cheerful, hopeful and most times bubbly.

But not today.  Or at least not for this post. Please bear with me.

What a bizarre few weeks this has been.  Layoffs at work.  Ice storms. Power outages.  Unexpected deaths. Unrelenting illnesses. It just seems like we are in a downward spiral.  I’m just wondering when things are going to right themselves.  The “if-thens” keep leading to more unhappiness.  Maybe, just maybe if one thing would go right for SOMEONE, then it would kick things back into gear, we could get our traction, and somehow begin to pull ourselves out of this mess.  

I mean for example, last night I was at Wal-Mart.  And in the check-out line, there was a little old lady right in front of me, probably about 80 years old or so.  And she didn’t look very robust.  Well, I glanced down and noticed that her shoe was untied.  So I told her, “Hun, your shoe is untied…you might want to be careful before you take off.” And she was, “Oh, wow, uh..” and then began to shift around to try to figure out how she could get her balance, put her purse down, and get to tie her shoe.  Well, I, being me, said, “Here, I’ve got it.” and I put my purse on the conveyor belt, bent down, and tied her shoe for her.  When I stood back up, she just kinda looked at me funny.

Now I ask you, did she look at me funny because it was a dumb thing to do, or because people just don’t do that kind of stuff anymore? Did I do something wrong?  I mean, I wouldn’t have wanted either of my Grandma’s walking around with potentially hazardous untied shoes, would you?

I relate that story to prove a point…even random acts of kindness aren’t accepted these days, let alone welcomed.  Have we gotten to a point in the aftermath of all the recent traumas that we just can’t find a way to start picking ourselves up? Anybody got any insight?

Good Friends in Bad Ice

So this has been a heck of a week.  Ice storms raged through our region pretty heavily on Tuesday night.  The sheriff in a nearby city lost his life in a horrible accident while out helping others. The schools are all closed, the grocery stores have lost tons of food due to power outages, and several of my coworkers are without power.  My BFF doesn’t have power either, and they are telling her it could be 3 weeks before she does. (*hug* to Missi.)

Icy Trees

How about me?  Nope.  We have no power.  It went out around 8 p.m. Tuesday night, and has not come back since.  I have this scary limb laying on top of my house (while still attached to the tree it branches from) and I’m scared it’s gonna break loose and crash through my bedroom roof. Into the recently and fabulously remodeled closet, by the by…

But for some reason, I can’t muster up any “OH MY GOSH THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!” inner panic.  And there are two reasons for that:  Ed and Elizabeth.

Ed called on Tuesday and asked if we had power.  And we said no. He said to come on over, but we toughed it out in the cold Tuesday night at our house.  (Because, of course the power is going to come on soon, and there is no reason to uproot husband and dogs to go impose on loved ones…..) We wake up Wednesday morning to a very cold home and no sign of electricity. Add to that the fact that Tuesday night was spent waking at every crack, whirr, swish and kaboom that came by my window…of which there were SEVERAL.  

So, Wednesday at lunch, Ed calls back to check on us, and we tell him no, there is no heat and no power. At which point he asks what time we are coming over. And tells us to bring the dogs. And our clothes and anything else we want to have handy to play with – laptops, games, whatever.

And then Elizabeth calls to find out what time she needs to leave work to come meet us at their house to let us in, also making sure we are bringing the dogs.

 

Broken Trees

This is now Friday, and there is still no sign of power in our neighborhood.  Our neighbors are watching our place for us (the ones who have gas heat have stayed home) and making sure everything is safe. Our friends have insisted that we stay as long as we need to.  Their dog and our dog have become BFF’s, and the puppy is loving being snuggled up to any of us who will hold him (which is EVERYONE!)

 

I hate winter.  Ice scares me.  Things are bleak and people are sad.  But I am safe, warm, dry, clean, and happy.  My family is taken care of and well-fed.  So I am thankful for the blessings God has given me, that all of my folks are okay and safe. And I am thankful for family.  

Ed and Elizabeth, I will never be able to tell you what this means to us.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking us in and taking care of our needs and bolstering our spirits.  

Oh, yeah, and GO CARDINALS!!! (What, you think just because there’s a national disaster upon us that we aren’t going to be ALL OVER some SUPERBOWL?!)

Introducing…

A bit of history:  I have a Boston Terrier named Haynesworth.  Yes, named after Albert Haynesworth of the Titans.  Anyway, Haynesworth is my baby, and has been for five years.  He is the most charming, goofy, and entertaining dog.  See?

He loved our cat Fluffy with all his little puppy heart.  Well, we had to have Fluffy put to sleep back in the late summer.  Ever since, Haynesworth has been a little sad.  So, we decided to get him a puppy.

Enter Pugsley, a bigger, older Pug that Mike rescued up at the lake.  We brought him home, and he and Haynesworth did NOT get along. They tried, but Pugsley decided that I belonged to him and that Haynesworth couldn’t have anything to do with me.  Long story short, Pugsley now lives with a widowed lady who dotes on him, and he on her.

As such, we decided that Haynesworth maybe was NOT in need of a puppy, and was rather using Fluffy’s passing to play on our sympathies and earn him more treats and special considerations.  (Yes, he is that smart. Don’t be fooled.) So, we were going to be a one-dog family.

And then came last Friday.  At 4 p.m. My old friend Bill Summers comes over and tells me that he just got word of a 10 week old Boston Terrier puppy that was dropped off at Animal Control, and that if he wanted him, he should come get him ASAP.  Bill, having lost HIS beloved Boston Terrier several months back, had already gone and gotten another dog; therefore they simply couldn’t take on another pup.  Having heard this, I said, “If you don’t want him, I do.” After a few hurried phone calls, bing-bam-boom, Mike meets me in the parking lot when I get off work, with our new family member in hand.  

So now, without further delay……Bruce.  The new puppy. How cute can he be?!?!?

A Blast from My Past

Okay, so yes, I am going to share this.  But mainly because I want to determine if I need to trek backward to the used to be, or journey on to the unknown. 

So yeah, over there…that’s me.  About 14 (EEP!) years ago.  My mother was kind enough to scan this and send it to me.  I buried it in some folder here on my work computer, and hadn’t thought about it since.  

I am now cleaning up said work computer, and rediscovered this nugget from my past. Hmm.  

I want my hair back! I’ve already discussed this desire with a friend (who also is returning his tresses to the long locks of our youth) and I really, really think I want to do this.  But I have questions:

• Is this going to be professional enough?
• Is the length too long for me to properly care for now?
• How about the color?  I really dig that strawberry blonde.
• Can a 38-year-old pull off the same hairstyle that she had when she was 24?

Okay, peoples, what say you?  I need some feedback on this one.

Frustration

This is a positively grouchy post.  I am not my sunshiney self right now, and I apologize for taking it out on you guys who read my ponderings.

I have a friend who is breaking my heart and it is driving me insane. He has gone from acting like I’m the coolest person ever to acting like I’m nothing but a let-down. The more I try to correct my mistakes, the more he seems to look at me with disgust.  I haven’t ever tap-danced this much to make another human happy.

The harder I try, the more it is evident that he just isn’t that into me anymore.

So, what do I do? I feel a very non-productive cycle coming on, and I really don’t want to go to that dark place again. Help?

Ed, Albert, and My Titans

Anyone who knows even the smallest thing about me should know three facts:

1. I love to laugh.
2. I love my friends.
3. I love the Tennessee Titans.

And, this love of the Titans is wrapped up in my love for two particular guys:  Ed Belly, and Albert Haynesworth.

Ed is like a little brother to me, and is my Football Obi Wan.  I have a question, Ed has the answers.  HE loves the Titans, so when I started watching Football, naturally that’s who we rooted for.

You must understand something.  Ed is probably one of the kindest people ever put on this planet.  He is full of life and laughter, and can make me smile faster than just about anyone. (Like I said, he’s the brother I always wanted!) So, watching football means hanging with Ed (and his equally-adored wife Elizabeth!!), which is one of the greatest joys in my life. Football=happiness.

Well, as I watched the Titans, something dawned on me.  The reason Ed likes these guys is because they have heart.  And they play hard and fair.  And they are gentlemen. They have gone from being “Ed’s Team” to “Our Team” and “My Team” because of the sheer amount of passion they put into the game. 

At the center of this passion is Albert Haynesworth.  Defensive Tackle. He’s the cutest little thing!

I just want to hug him! (For those of you not in the know, Albert is 6′6″, and 320-sumpthin pounds. And he has a mean game face. But I still want to invite him over for dinner and hang out and invite him into the family.) Yes, I know most people only know him for the whole “stomping incident.” Yes, he has had temper issues, but he is working very hard on it!

So, what has prompted me to write this post?  Well, rumor has it that since Albert has met all of his incentives, he is now on Free Agency, which means he could possibly leave my beloved Titans to go pursue more bank.  And do I blame him? No.  But I just don’t want him to leave Tennessee.  He is needed there. *I* need him there.  So maybe if enough of us stand up and say, “HEY OWNERS! LOOK AT ALBERT!”, maybe we’ll get to keep him.

Am I bothered that my Titans were stopped in their quest for the Superbowl win?  Of course. Ed, Elizabeth and I are all crushed, simply because the way our playoff game against the Ravens went down.  We were not pleased with the mistakes made, nor with the officiating TRAVESTY. We should be watching the Titans play against the Steelers right now.  But since we aren’t, we are rooting for the Steelers to STOMP the Ravens.  There is no way those criminals need to have a chance to go to the Bowl after the dirty way they treated my Titans.  So, for tonight, it’s “GO STEELERS!” During the Superbowl it’s going to be, “GO CARDINALS!”.

But forever in my heart, it’s “GO ALBERT!” and with Ed and Elizabeth right there with me, it will always be,  “GO TITANS!!!”

This Weekend, Already in Progress

Last night was going to be Mike and I going to eat, and to a movie, and then EJ was going to come over and hang out with us. We thought about calling Ed and Elizabeth to see if they wanted to come eat, but then I remembered (incorrectly) that Ed worked til 6.  So we headed out on our own. It was going to be a great night.

Well, instead of THAT good time, THIS is what happened:  Mike and I headed out for an early dinner when I got off work, going  to our favorite barbeque place.  While we were there, Ed called and we made plans to meet up at our house later in the evening (postponing the movie til today).  Mike and I then headed to Hobby Lobby for bit.  We came home, Ed and Elizabeth got here and had our friend Jarod with them.  YAY! I haven’t seen Jarod in about a year (when I ran into him at Hobby Lobby!  All roads lead to crafting, I tell ya!)

Since both Ed and EJ have seperately been  trying to get me to watch Casino Royale, we thought that last night would be great time to do just that.   I swear, I love my friends…we had just the best time laughing and talking.

When I finish here, I am going to get ready to head out to get the oil changed in my truck (and hang out with Bobby unless he’s with customers!) Then, we are going to see Paul Blart – Mall Cop (don’t judge me! LOL!) and then back home to hang for a while. Tonight, I get to see my Missi, Xander, and Bobby. Missi is making her famous spaghetti!

Tomorrow is Koinonia, ConneXion, CORE, football playoffs with Ed and Elizabeth, then home to get ready for the upcoming week.  I’d like to see Bryan, MaDonna, and Mimic, but I’m not sure what they are doing. Again, I don’t get to see Andi, but hopefully we can remedy that soon!

Twittle Me This

So I am a major Twitter Junkie now. I can’t wait for every second I can sneak online and see what my newly-adopted people are up to. I have followers who want to know what I’m thinking and where I’m at. It’s kinda neat not to be just another nameless being in the interworld. People actually care, and that’s a nice thing. AND, the ones that I follow bring me joyful insights and new avenues of thinking. All in all, I say Twitter is a good thing!