So I’m hammering at a project today, just got it to the point where I can take a break. My gosh, I need a break in a lot of things. There are times when I wonder just how much a person can take. I mean, there are folks who have serious problems, and I look at my life by comparison and I realize that I have it pretty good, and have no room for complaint.

Technically, the worst thing in my life is the rising price of gasoline. Okay, yeah, and the fact that HE is graduating in 38 days, and has no job prospects yet. I know he’s going to be wonderful in his profession, I really do. IF HE CAN GET INTO THE PROFESSION!!!! Every day the phone doesn’t ring is another day that I just get more scared. I know it’s just a matter of faith, but those of you who know me know that faith (in all areas) is something I struggle with. Been burned too many times by too many people and things I trust(ed) in.

So why am I so restless? What is it that I am after? Why do I let myself get so bothered by the little things? I swear, I spend half my life apologizing becuase I feel I’ve wronged someone somehow, yet now I find myself working harder than ever to try to do things right. I bang my head against the wall more now to please more people, and fall short every time. There’s always someone who does everything better, faster, easier.

My gosh, am I going to be one of those old people that is a burden on her famiy? The old nana that they put in a nursing home and forget about because she complains too much? Good grief, all I want to do is take care of those I love, but instead it’s just a mtter of time before they don’t need me and I’m a burden! Whoa…what a crappy revelation!

And then there’s another HE who told me today that he doesn’t need my help. Heck, I’ll bet he doesn’t think about me once he hangs up the phone with me. So why the heck is it breaking my heart? It shouldn’t…but I hate one-sided friendships. I’d do anything for him, and it just doesn’t matter to him. Maybe I’d better learn how to walk away…..

And then there’s this stupid project I’m working on for Jeff, and he didn’t even like it, like it’s not good enough. I tried hard, really I did…..

So, today I was telling Matt (no, not that Matt…yes, another Matt…I know several!) about my blog, and one thing led to another.  The next thing I know, he’s writing my URL on the back of his hand (an endearing quality to me, as I do that myself.) so he can check it out when he gets home.  Well, as we’re leaving, he teasingly tells Bill that he’s going to go home and read my blog so he can find out about “the REAL Tracey”. 

This concept cracks me up. The “real” me…child, there’s nothing to tell.  What you see is what you get.  Just ask…I’ll be happy to tell you.

So, Matt, if you DO make it by my blog this weekend, I hope you’re entertained.  Or at least a bit amused! Either way, it’s cool that someone wanted to take the time to stop by. :oD Have a great weekend!

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Isn’t it amazing how life ebbs and flows?

I have strep.  I have been at work approximately two hours this week, plus the time I’ve worked from home. It sucks having strep, because you can’t be around anyone, and if you ARE around anyone, you feel horribly guilty and fear for their health and safety.  Well, at least while you have fever.  Mine broke this afternoon around 2 p.m.  Which is good, because I am tired of being sick.  Time off is fun, yes.  But time off in a sicky state is not.  Besides, I have a ton of stuff to do.

But my fever did break, allowing me to get to go somewhere very special tonight. We had our Team Leaders meeting for VBS.  I am getting to help out with VBS for the first time ever in my life. AND, I am Co-Leader over the crafts!  YAY!  Oh, and you should see the stuff we get to do!  I cannot wait! I am so excited.

Also, there has been something that has been a big weight on my heart.  So, I finally screwed up my courage and talked to the right people (via email) and it was such a good thing. Come to find out, they had been worried about ME but didn’t want to approach me for fear of hurting my feelings.  So we are getting it all worked out. THANKFULLY!! It’s just one of those cool things that’s divinely inspired. 

Tomorrow, I get to go back to work and find out what all I’ve missed.  And then tomorrow night, I get to go shopping with Kerri and Elaine to buy the supplies for our annual Omelette Breakfast on Saturday.  We then meet the rest of the crew at church with all the stuff and then get to spend a while in prep.  Then Staturday morning, we make omelettes for about four hours to raise money for NARAN, the Northeast Arkansas Regional Aids Network.  Last year we did it for our local women’s shelter, and raised something like $700 after expenses.  Not sure how much we’ll raise this year, considering pre-sales are down… many more folks said they wanted to buy at the door.  It’s always a lot of work, but a lot of fun and for a very worthy cause.  And I get to hang out with friends, so that’s very cool. 

And, last but not least, I get to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary on Sunday.  He’s kept me for ELEVEN years and I just couldn’t be happier. I hope he knows that he’s the reason I wake up each day, and the smile on my face, and every heartbeat I have.  I’m usually much more poetic than this, but I am just too overwhelmed with love for this amazing man to be able to put it in words.  I love you, Mikey.

..er, um, or rather PLAYER.  Robbin just posted the most EXCITING news! She is getting a new violin! So, why exactly is that so exciting for me?  

Many reasons: 1.  My friend is happy, which makes me happy.
2.  I know where to go when I have goofy, embarrassing violin questions.
3.  I have hope that it is truly not too late for me to finally pick up a life-long dream. Yep, I’ve wanted to play since I first learned what a violin was. (About age 4, maybe?)

WAHOOTIE!  Robbin gets her new violin today.

Congratulations, my friend!

Okay, so my ol’ pal Matt came up with a thought-provoker. No matter your political bent, it’s gotta make you think.

If Barak Obama becomes president of the United States, what will we have?
An OBAMANATION!  

Pretty interesting, dontcha think?

First of all, I must wish all of you a very Happy Easter. Despite your religious affiliations (or lack thereof), so many people find many joys in today:  the celebration of our Risen Lord, the beginning of Spring, family time, chocolate, Easter bunnies and egg hunts.  The end of the cold darkness and the beginning of a bright new future.  (Amazing the religious to non-religious meaning there.)  No matter what you feel, happy, happy day to you.

 Secondly, I am once again in love.  I love the fact that people sponsor creativity in the world.  Our friends at The Washington Post have done their Second Annual Peeps Contest whereupon the creative types get a chance to take the not-so-ordinary Peep (yes, I am a fan!) and turn them into Pop Culture works of art.  Go check it out.  And get inspired to play with YOUR food.

What an awful dreary day. And yet somehow I am in the greatest of moods….perhaps it’s because the boss is out today, or perhaps I found out that I am not going to be working on the project this afternoon. Or maybe I found the ever-elusive “chill pill” but nonetheless, so far, so chill. :oD

For those of you who have gotten e-mails from me, you know I am in love with smileys. I am a firm believer that there is no easy way to convey emotion in typed media, so the smiley is just the perfect way to tell someone how you feel.The good news is, I have been introduced to the creator of the smiley. Okay, not in person, but online. And, for anyone who might even remotely POSSIBLY care about this, here’s the link to the backstory of these wonderful icons: :oD

…to always have a plan:Twelve Ways